touching base

it has been a pretty eventful last week or so for yours truly, eventful only compared 2 the previous 8 weeks of orgasmic uneventfulness. i’ve done a bit of gardening, got a haircut, drove 2 some utterly uninteresting parts of little old ireland, brought the dog for a few walks &, just 2 show i haven’t been living a life of total nirvana, undertook the chore of somewhat overhauling my mp3 player contents, proof unequivocal that maybe i didn’t have the most eventful of weeks after all. i’ve spent a large chunk of the week touching base with pretty much everyone who 1) i had yet 2 touch base with & 2) i don’t mind sharing my bases with, meaning i’m now free 2 return 2 kool-rea without evoking their “you were home but never contacted us” wrath. of course touching base @ home always involves, & did invlove, the ingestion of way 2 much alcohol, actions i may need 2 repeat in order 2 help me survive the coming week. patience @ the ready, uncle dave, patience @ the ready.

walking pip. brittas bay, wicklow, ireland. October 16th 2008

‘the return’ – an update

the koreans finally seem 2 have tired of delays... or more precisely, tired of delaying me. either that or they couldn’t find any more ways 2 stall ‘the return’ which will now happen on october 31st of this year of our lord 2008. 10 days. no bother. I can wait 10 more days. tick... tock... btw, the interview is tomorrow.

just for laughs is all

okay, so enough ribbing of the yanks (for now). it’s the 'yea-yah, bee-yah' aussies turn. they are, in my opinion, just as good @ laughing @ themselves as they are @ laughing @ others so i’m sure even simper-challenged aussies will enjoy these yanks take on their prototypical 'bloke'

& check out this guy. i’d imagine 1 of the requirements for a successful streak (as in the verb 2 run naked in a public place) would be 2 stay conscious @ least long enough 2 get chased down. but maybe i’m just being 2 harsh.

finally, this is budweisers take on streaking. crap beer, great adverts.

the first sex talk

i found this mildly funny the first time i read it. i’m refusing 2 read it again in case i don’t find it funny any more.

God nervously paces back and forth in front of Adam and Eve.

God: We need to talk. You've both have been alive for a full three weeks now, and you may have started to notice certain, um, urges when you're around each other.

The two stare blankly.

God: Let me start over. You know the birds and the bees?

Adam: I named them both. So?

God: You're right, that metaphor doesn't help or even make sense. To try another tack - there are only two of you. What if we wanted more?

Adam: I guess you could take another of my ribs, but that really hurt and now I whistle when I breathe.

God: Right! Well, if you love each other very much and decide to spend the rest of your lives with each other-

Eve: As opposed to whom?

God: Here, the angels gave me these diagrams. Maybe they help?

Adam: Oh THAT? We've been doing that for weeks! It's great!

Eve: Yeah! Wait, what's this next part? Is- Is that a little Adam? You put a little you inside me?!?

Adam: I did that? I am the man!

God: Technically, that is true.

Eve: Do I have to do the thing with the new Adam, too?

Adam: But- I thought you enjoyed the thing!

Eve: I do, but, um, God said we should only use it for making more you's. Or maybe me's. Any other time really pisses him off.

God: I did not say that.

Adam: Fine. What about that other, more complicated thing we tried? The one that doesn't make people?

Eve: Yeah, he's definitely against that one.

Adam: Well, heck, maybe I'll just go do it with one of the lions! How about that?

God: I can't believe you're making such a huge deal out of this simple, natural thing. Forget it. I'm not even going to tell you about super-orgasms.

Adam: Wait, what?

God disappears in a flash of lightning.

Adam: That was weird. Want to do the thing?

Eve: Is that all you think about?

what i'm listening 2 right now

the beatles, free as a bird